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Where I look for inspiration

August 24, 2011

I was chatting with a very dear the friend the other day, and, somehow, the words “you’re inspiring” were used. I may have blushed, and then I tried to figure out how this happened. See, I don’t see myself as inspiring. I see myself as a guy, trying to “keep his head above water,” who simply talks about whatever comes to his mind in this little section of the internet.

And, for the past few weeks, I haven’t been inspired. There are things that I want to write, that I just can’t get into. There are pieces that I want to learn, that I just can’t make myself sit down and work on. There are miles & miles of pavement that are screaming to be pounded by my feet, but the siren’s call of my bed has been too strong for me. In short, if others find me inspirational, well, it feels like the pilot light on my inspirational oven has been extinguished.

So, it’s time to pick myself up by the boot-straps and find something to get that spark back. On the workout side, which, for whatever reason, seems to be the thing that I find the easiest to write about, I need to remind myself of the following:

  • The feeling that lasts throughout the day, that starts as soon as you’ve re-captured your breath after truly exhausting yourself.
  • The “good sore” that you feel, that can last days, telling you that your muscles are growing
  • Those tiny little changes in your body that might only make themselves aware to you, but that you know are there1
  • The way your pants fit a little more loosely

On the writing front, I need to remind myself that people actually want to read what I put out. It’s strange – there is a very real part of me that thinks that people read out of obligation . . . I know it’s bullshit – if I’m not writing something worth reading, people simply won’t read, but I still feel that way.

1 As you lament the fact that it’s always the belly that shows the least change
  1. I like that feeling too after a workout, but it’s still difficult to drag yourself out of a comfortable bed.

    My cousin writes, but she doesn’t blog. She told me that if she has a rough spot with writing, she’ll write as though it’s a journal to help her through. Whatever helps with the muse … 🙂

    • The thing is, I have my alarm clock at the opposite end of my bedroom, so I need to get out of bed, turn it off, and make the decision to reset it for a later time. And, for the first time in a long time, it’s becoming habit, which I really don’t like.

      As far as writing – yeah, whatever it takes to get the words to flow – and there are tricks that I can use for blogging – just a meme a day, but it’s too easy to get “trapped” into that & not come up with your own stuff.

  2. Its true. We want to read what you put out. Not out obligation but out of affection, admiration and dammit, the entertainment value of your words.
    I’d love to write something inspiring about inspiration for you but it would be disingenuous and not my words.
    But even if it seems like you’ve only got rubbish to offer, remember it’s you we want, in whatever form.

    Okay, well, there is a line. Ahem.

    • And that’s quite the line 😉

      Yay for being wanted.

      And thank you, truly, for making me smile.

  3. I tend to be a more why-wait-for-inspiration-just-push-through kind of gal. Though that’s possibly why I’m kind of a sub par writing kind of gal.

    And you always want what you don’t have – the first place I lose weight is my stomach and I hate it because it’s never there I want to lose weight!

    • I think I treat writing as most doctors would treat constipation – never force anything. Sure, it might work, but there are very bad things that might happen.

      But, um, you’re not a “sub-par writing kind of gal,” seriously. I so enjoy seeing the “Best of Fates” in my inbox – a great and happy diversion whenever it comes across.

      • Hahaha – ooh, now I don’t know, because I’m almost always forcing my writing, so I fear what that means in terms of your metaphor!!

        (But you are very sweet, thank you.)

  4. Tap tap tap…

    You owe me some scenes via email, no?

    And I’m certainly not feeling *obliged* to read them.

    • Yeah, I can’t seem to find said scenes . . . and I’m freaking out just a little bit. This is the issue of putting things on the work computer, and then having said computer upgraded. Everything from the old is somewhere here . . . just need to find where.

      And, I’m quite eager to share these with you.

  5. I think everybody feels that way about the writing things. You’re not alone there.

    • That’s what I keep telling myself. I mean, I subscribe to a number of blogs, and read a few others regularly. Each & every one of these, I’m somewhere between joyful & giddy when I see a new post notification. But there is something “in the way” keeping me from thinking that people might, gosh darn-it, like me.

  6. Kim permalink

    We really do want to read what you write-& you inspire me as well. In many, many ways.

    • Yeah, deep down I know – some day, I’ll believe it, too.

      Thank you 🙂

  7. I love that feeling of looser pants. I need to get back to the gym so I can feel that again. Summer has been awful for that.

    • It really is an addictive feeling. Not too long ago, I had to buy myself two new pairs of jeans, because my old ones were too big. Now, these ones are getting a little loose, and that’s such a wonderful feeling.

  8. I love to read what you put out. (Yeah, I said “put out.” Just to preempt that there sucker! (“She said sucker.”)) I love that I get to put out some of your words on my blog in the very near future. And yet, I do understand the core sentiment. I get emails occasionally these days that make me go, “Is this person really writing to the right person? I post silly videos about junk-kicking and my son’s escapades. That’s all.” But I suppose others around me see parts of me better than I can see them myself, and I’m glad for that. It reminds me I might be seeing other people more clearly than they are able to see themselves.

  9. You can achieve your last fitness thing simply by buying bigger pants. You’re welcome.

    On the writing front, I love your writing. So get on it.

    • Thank you, Pop, for the writing comment.

      Bigger pants . . . yes, I need to remember this. Because it really is an amazing feeling to know that you’re too small for the clothes you’re in.

  10. Loose trousers are awesome. And so are you (awesome, not loose) (maybe?) (I’ll stop now).

    Thanks for checking in on me; it is greatly appreciated.

    • Oh, I’m totally loose, but you knew that already :-p

      I’m willing to accept the designation of “awesome” from the queen of awesome, so thank you 🙂

  11. The belly IS always the last, isn’t it? DAMN.

    As for inspiration? It comes in waves, unfortunately.
    When the tsunami strikes, you can’t handle the flow. And then?


    So you just have to keep rolling with it.

    And let the belly go…

    • I actually don’t hold onto the belly too much – except when I’m watching a show like True Blood & I realize that there’s no way in hell that I’ll ever look like them.

      I, simply, spent too much time as a kid as a “fatty,” and have too much skin to ever have a six pack. But, for those of us who know better, a keg is always preferred to a six-pack.


  12. You, John, are a very rare person , in that your style of writing makes me feel like I’d like you in real life.

    I don’t make it regularly to blogs, esp in the summer. But that isn’t a reflection of your writing, it’s just a matter of not enough time in my day.

    But I do enjoy myself, always, when I’m here.

    That’s no smoke up your butt.

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